life is nothing without love ♥

I had been thinking a lot lately. I know what I want. I want to be myself. I don’t want to act like someone that I’m not anymore. It’s so tiring. I know once I decided this, there will be more people will be hating me. But I don’t give a dare. I don’t give a fuck of what others will thing about me. If they can’t accept who I am that’s too bad for them. It’s your lose right? Well, should stop talking about that.

Lately something bad has happen to me. My uncle & auntie want me to move out, she said I have grown up & it’s time for me to move out. I can’t believe my uncle still can’t get over it about my dad scolding him because of me. Shouldn’t I be the one should be angry? You lost my laptop. & you are angry about my dad & grandma scolding? What logics is that? My auntie also asks my dad to faster get a house. How do we have to find a house in such a short time? Most importantly I don’t want to move away from tampines. It’s the only places where all my dearest friends are. Its where all my beautiful memories are flowing. I don’t want to forget these places & the people around here. I know I can always come back but it will never be the same anymore. I’m tired of the life here. Grandma is always telling me stuff thinking that I will never understand, as she still thinks that I’m still a kid. But who will understand that, I already know what’s happening around me, even things that you don’t want me to know. Actually what’s the different even if I move to somewhere fast? Even I’m living near all my friends but I still always feel so left out. Either when I am alone or with friends. I still find lonely. I don’t receive texts or call anymore. I used to have when I still have a boyfriend & a very close best friend. But I lost both of them. I used to be someone important to them but now. I’m nothing but a loner. I lost everything I used to have.

Now, all I wish for is to get 6-7points for EMB2. I hope I will do well in my N level & move on to ITE. Even though I have not choose what course I want. But I want to go poly. Fix my stupid backbone & move on to my future. Now the point for my N level means everything to me. It’s my only hope now.